Never on Time
by ncfan
Summary: In which Isshin is late to his own wedding, trips on the carpet as he walks down the aisle, and Ryuuken is not amused.


The idea of Ishida Ryuuken being the best man at Kurosaki Isshin's wedding was just too appealing to pass up.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

* * *

The air in the chapel was growing increasingly tense as Masaki's face continued to fall.

Sighing in exasperation, Ishida Ryuuken brushed up his sleeve and checked his wristwatch. It was 3:30 in the afternoon. Isshin was nearly half an hour late.

_I thought it was the bride who was supposed to be late to her own wedding, not the groom! You idiot, where are you?_

"Um, Ishida-san?" The officiating priest—a Catholic priest, since Masaki was a Catholic Christian—tapped his shoulder, a look on his face that indicated that he was sorry he even had to ask the question. "Is Kurosaki-san even showing up?" he inquired in a low voice.

It unfortunately wasn't low enough not to reach the ears of the bride and her parents. Masaki bit her lip, tilting her chin downwards as her eyes narrowed in a mixture of embarrassment and pain; she was no doubt wondering where her errant fiancé was.

The in-laws just looked like they were going to be stopping the wedding with a murder by the time Isshin actually showed up. Masaki's mother's expression was especially vicious; the fact that her face was a rather intimidating one to begin with did nothing to diminish the effect.

Ryuuken tapped his foot on the ground. "He had better," he muttered, staring at the door that, if Isshin ever showed up, he would be entering through.

The priest frowned, looking surprised. "Is such behavior typical of Kurosaki-san?"

Ryuuken rolled his eyes, lifting them to the vaulted ceiling. "Trust me, yes." This time, he didn't bother to lower his voice. _For a Shinigami, he has a horrible sense of timing, and little to no sense of direction at all. Isshin probably got lost on the way to the church._

He shook his head. Smiling reassuringly at Masaki, he told her, "I'm going to go outside and wait for Isshin. I'm sure he'll be here."

Masaki smiled weakly. "Thank you, Ishida-san."

Once outside, Ryuuken lit a cigarette and inhaled, coughing slightly; he was still new to smoking (okay, not all that new at all; he'd been smoking since about six years ago) and even though it calmed him down enough that he was no longer quite so irritated as he had been before, it still jolted his lungs. After the first, he extinguished the light and put the pack of cigarettes away; as much as it calmed him, Ryuuken had no inclination to go back into the chapel smelling like smoke.

_Why can't he ever be on time to anything? Come to think of it, he was late to _my_ wedding too._ Ryuuken smiled weakly. _Sayuri's gonna love this; if she ever stops laughing it'll be a miracle._

_Where is he?_

"You know, Sayuri-san would kill you if she could see you smoking. Wasn't your stopping smoking the only reason she agreed to marry you?"

Isshin materialized out of nowhere, walking down the sidewalk in his tuxedo. Ryuuken had only one thing to say to him.

"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You," he muttered through gritted teeth.

Isshin held up his hands defensively. "Hey, why aren't you inside?"

Ryuuken pointed to the clock tower nearby, lip curling in a mixture of contempt and unfettered rage. Isshin followed the path his finger took, and his face went slack, though he (much to Ryuuken's ire) didn't look the least bit guilty.

"Oh, gosh. Is it really 3:45 already?"

"Yes, it is." Ryuuken seized his friend/enemy/rival/annoyance by the lapel of his suit and started to drag him inside the chapel, face darkening all the while.

"Hey, let go! I can walk just fine by myself!"

"You have _lost_ my trust in your ability to do that."

They stopped in the antechamber long enough for Ryuuken to brief Isshin on the situation.

"Okay," Ryuuken said in an oddly businesslike tone. "Your mother-in-law looks about ready to commit homicide in there, so watch out for any advancing bullets."

Isshin glared at him. "Gee, thanks."

"Well what did you expect, being over half an hour late to your own wedding? Okay, I'm going to go in. Wait a minute, so I'll be up at the altar with Masaki-san by the time you come in, alright?"

"'Kay."

Ryuuken cooled down enough to shoot his friend a slight smile. "Good luck, Isshin."

"Thanks, Ryuuken."

One might have assumed that they chaos ended there. However, considering it was Isshin, Ryuuken realized, that assumption was both incorrect and utterly foolish.

He walked back up to the altar, muttering in Masaki's ear as he did so, "Isshin's here. He'll be in in a moment."

Masaki beamed, and Ryuuken breathed a sigh of relief.

Almost as soon as he got back into position at the altar to the left of the priest, the tall oak doors were pressed open. Isshin had always been one to want to make an entrance, and for once, Ryuuken couldn't find a reason to be infuriated with him for doing so.

However, there was soon another reason to be aggravated with Isshin again.

As Isshin walked down the aisle, a huge, jaunty grin on his face, Ryuuken dared to believe that the whole thing would be pulled off with no further hitches. Isshin soon proved him wrong.

Ryuuken felt his brown eyes widen behind his glasses as he watched the sight. Isshin tripped over a snag in the carpet, toppling head over heels flat on his face.

The strong urge to slap his forehead with his hand overtook Ryuuken. "Oh, my God," he groaned. _I hope his face isn't carpet-burned._ Ryuuken looked at Masaki and the priest with an expression that could only be described as supremely incensed. "Excuse me."

He marched straight down the aisle, and dragged Isshin to his feet by the back of his coat. "You," he snarled under his breath, "are a Shinigami. Moreover, you are a grown man attending your own wedding. You should _not_ be tripping over the carpet like a clumsy oaf, you dolt." Ryuuken pushed his friend towards the aisle; Isshin smiled sheepishly at his fiancée. "Now get up there."

Isshin assumed his place to the left of the officiating priest, Ryuuken just beside him.

Ryuuken took a deep breath and plastered a smile on his face. Isshin had finally shown up, and only a little bit of chaos had punctuated the process of getting him to the altar.


End file.
